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| Funny at the end |
| 02.04.04 (12:04 am) [edit] |
Ok well this is rude at the end (not much so you can still read it) and I couldn't help but laugh.
A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo (a cuddly toy which laughs when tickled) factory. The Personnel Manager explains her duties and tells her to report to work promptly at 8.00am. The next day at 8.45am
there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the Personnel Manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem.
Sure enough, Elmo's are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of material used for the Elmo's and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of
fabric, wraps it around two marbles and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager starts laughing hysterically.
After several minutes he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman and says "I am sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday, I said,
your job is to give Elmo two test-tickles".
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| Sort of funny random things |
| 02.03.04 (9:13 am) [edit] |
[b]Er yeah well yesterday wasn't such a great day for amusing randomness so I apologise. At least one of these should get you to smile, hopefully.[/b]
Spotted in a toilet at a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE
BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL
DOESN'T WORK)
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| More Random Facts |
| 02.02.04 (4:48 am) [edit] |
More random facts for you to read...
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
No word in the English language rhymes with month.
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
A group of ravens is called a murder.
Hmm..those are all a bit boring..I'll find something more interesting hopefully next time.
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| Stupid Sayings... |
| 02.02.04 (1:53 am) [edit] |
Hmm...got some slogans which are useless..but hey this is the randomness blog...
Don't drink and drive - you might hit a bump and spill it.
If money can't buy happiness, I guess you'll just have to rent it.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
Reality is a figment of your imagination.
Make WAR, not SEX, it's safer!
I can handle pain until it hurts.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.
It's not what you say in your argument, it's how loud you say it.
The ultimate reason is "because."
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
Well that's just a few...more randomness coming soon....
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| Weird and Strange facts |
| 02.01.04 (1:37 pm) [edit] |
[b]Mwa haa haa..already I've got some useless randomness to post...[/b]
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes when you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase, "Goodnight, sleep tight."
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's."
The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet.
The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
No president of the United States was an only child.
The most sensitive finger is the forefinger.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
[b]Hmm..all a bit weird really..wouldn't you agree?[/b]
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| Randomness? Whaa? |
| 02.01.04 (1:24 pm) [edit] |
Yep well now this is a blog for complete and utter nonsense randomness. You may ask why I'm doing this, but why not? It requires no thinking, no need to make sense and can contain absolutly anything! How great! Especially for me...seeing as I suffer from short term memory loss..just like Dory from Finding Nemo....
[b]Randomness on the way[/b]
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Well I hope you realise that this is a completely random blog.
Why are you even wasting your time reading this? Hmmm?
Well if you're completely bored then that's ok...
Link to my blog and I'll link to yours!
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